"Water Sports" lyrics - ROY HARPER

In the street the dogs are cutting and the turds are getting bigger
They're feeding them on goolies from remains of rotting pig
And lurking in dark heaps of goo these messages are spread
By unsuspecting passing shoes who see not where they tread
And when there's no one looking late at night and I'm undressed
And just can't make the bathroom though my bladder sorely pressed
I sneak out of the window with a foot of throbbing flesh
And golden shower the gunge below from three floors with a splash
Last night I got to thinking I could do it anywhere
Without a care or a worry of someone being there
I'd buy the daily smellygraph and roll it long ways on
And fill it with my rod and staff and have some sneaky fun
Waiting for the dogs to come and cock a leg or two
Here Fido come and get my bone and wet the bugger through
Fill wellingtons on shoe stands and pockets at the match
The gallery at Westminster the iron maidens snatch