"The Intergalactic Laxative" lyrics - DONOVAN

I was impressed like everyone
When man began to fly
Out of Earthly regions
To planets in the sky
With total media coverage
We watched the heroes land
As ceremoniously
They disturbed the cosmic sand

In awe with admiration
We listened to the talk
Such pride felt they, such joy
To be upon the Moon to walk
My romantic vision shattered
When it was explained to me
Spacemen wear old diapers
In which they shit and pee

Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

They don't partake like you and I
Of beefy burger mush
Their food is specially prepared
To dissolve into slush
Absorbed by multi-fibres
In the super-diaper suit
Otherwise the slush would trickle
Down inside the boot

Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

You may well ask now what becomes
Of liquid they consume
A pipe is led from penis head
To a unit in the room!
The water is recirculated
Filtered for re-use
In case some anti-gravity
Pee gets on the loose

Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

Wherever man has conquered
On the quest for frontiers new
I'm glad he's always had to do
The number one and two
It makes it all so ordinary
Just like you and me
To know the greatest heroes
They had to shit and pee

The Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to there
For cosmic constipation
Theres none that can compare!
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the Intergalactic Laxative
The Intergalactic Laxative
The Intergalactic Laxative
Will get you from here to Mars