"National Hotel" lyrics - IAN & SYLVIA

All the halls are haunted
At the National Hotel
Snorin' and a-screamin'
Down the hall the demons dwell
Every night they knockin'
Come a-knockin' at my door
Callin' out for Shirley
(Ian, spoken) Uh, she don't live here anymore
(Sylvia overlaps) She don't live here anymore
(Sylvia, spoken) Oh guess what, boys

The radiator rumbles
He's a-tryin' to get away
From the cockroach in the corner
Who likes a-livin' this-a-way

And the smell that keeps risin' from down in the Greek dining room
(Ian) Greasy spoon
Reminds me of the waitress who's 'bout got me howlin' and bayin' at the moon

The carpet lives on ketchup
And the lightbulbs live on flies
The wallpaper pattern lives on anything
(Sylvia) It can hypnotize
(Ian overlaps) It can hypnotize

All the halls are haunted
At the National Hotel
Snorin' and a-screamin'
Down the hall the demons dwell
Every night they knockin'
Come a-knockin' at my door
Callin' out for Shirley

(Sound of door opening)
(Ian, spoken) Oh, I'm so sorry, Madame
(Sound of door closing)