"Letter To Mom" lyrics - IRIS DEMENT

I wrote my mother yesterday because I had some things that I had to say
And I know that when she reads them she's going to cry
But in the end I hope she sees
That I'm just trying to break free
Because I've been walking around with secrets now, too long
Back when I was barely ten
Mom brought home a new boyfriend
And I know that times were bad and he made her feel good
But one night he climbed into my bed
And he left me wishing I was dead
And I've been walking around with secrets now, too long

[Chorus:]
You say I'm digging up the past and it's not wise to go back
But for me it's just as close as yesterday
And I'm not the kind for breaking rules
And I'm not wanting to be cruel
I've just been walking around with secrets now, too long

All my life I've felt ashamed
Because I thought I was the one to blame
And I vowed to God that no one else would ever know
How he crushed my childish pride
And left me tears that never dried
And I've been walking around with secrets now, too long

[Chorus:]
You say I'm digging up the past and it's not wise to go back
But for me it's just as close as yesterday
And I'm not the kind for breaking rules
And I'm not wanting to be cruel
I've just been walking around with secrets now, too long