"God's Got A Shit List" lyrics - LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III

God's got a shit list and I'm on it
Couldn't get off it if I wanted to
God's got a shit list - I'm on top
God must be pissed, this shit don't stop

God's got a list like Santa Claus
My ass is on it just because
I'm not naughty - I'm real nice
God ain't checkin' that shit list twice

God's got a shit list - can I get a witness?
God'd got a shit list - I'm on top

God's been pissed since I was born
This shit all started on my first mornin'
My mother held her new baby
And said to God, "Dear Lord, why me?"

When my father saw his kid
He said, "Lord, was it somethin' that I did?"
Form day one I've been on that list
My whole damn life God's been pissed

God's got a shit list - can I get a witness?
God's got a shit list - I'm on top

Every day I take a hit
I'm in a shitstorm and it won't quit
No wonder I do drugs and drink
I saw God's shit list sure does stink

God's got a shit list - can I get a witness?
God's got a shit list - I'm on top

My teeth are loose and my hair is thin
I've bad breath and lousy skin
Could say I'm under endowed
All this shit should not be allowed

You can run but you can't hide
And don't think God is on your side
'Cause a good white man in the land of the free
Takes it right in the nuts from God's own knee

God's got a shit list - can I get a witness?
God's got a shit list - I'm on top

Sure is lonely up on top
God knows when all this shit will stop
If I go to Hell I might get free
Or burn in shit for eternity

It's just not right, it just ain't fair
But it's God's shit list and he wants you there
You can see Him pray in your beautiful robes
But you're on God's shit list just like Job

God's got a shit list - can I get a witness?
God's got a shit list - I'm on top

Alternate Verse:

If you're a fag or a communist
You might get slapped on your limp red wrist
You Jews and Niggers get a pass
But I'm on God's list and he hates my ass