"Hot Guacamole" lyrics - MF DOOM

MF DOOM
"Hot Guacamole"
feat. MC Paul Barman

[MC Paul Barman:]
I'm old school
This mic is my ProTool
I'm three apples high
I live in a toadstool like a smurf
Everyone at birth is given x-ray specs
But they under-use them to undress the opposite sex
Holy guacamole!
Let's get this rap cash
'Cause art right now is on some slap dash flapjack crap trash
Leave me here
SAVE YOURSELF!

[MF DOOM:]
OK
Pass me your wallet
I'll send help
Now who drank the last brew?
They turned off my cell again
The bill was way past due
Gosh, tell a friend
But don't let 'em gas you
It's all just hogwash
Now back to the castle

[MC Paul Barman:]
Where's that?

[MF DOOM:]
Parts unknown
When I'm home the seeds throw darts at the throne
No tart taste to the ho cakes
No jakes
And first place
In the go-cart race goes to...

[MC Paul Barman:]
NO BRAKES! Teach peace to the babies
We're all the same

[MF DOOM:]
At least for the ho's sake

[MC Paul Barman:]
Stepped on an undisclosed rake

[MF DOOM:]
Catch a nose-ache...
Y'all flows is fake

[MC Paul Barman:]
Yodle-eh-heee-WHO wants to be my protege?
Me, me too!
So parrot back it
I'm an underlined caret bracket
Greater than or equal to
But greater than four stars
Greater than straight-A report cards
Greater than poor sports in divorce courts or sports bars

[MF DOOM:]
What's your mission?

[MC Paul Barman:]
Making hundreds
Shaking blunders in this self (inaudible) taking on fun-filled until...

[MF DOOM:]
Done, chill
It ain't all about the dollar bill
You could be dead broke and be a scholar still

[MC Paul Barman:]
That's true
What question should I ask you?

[MF DOOM:]
Uh... 'What type-a ill type-a tricks do the mask do?'

[MC Paul Barman:]
Ok, what type-a ill type-a ill tricks do the mask do?

[MF DOOM:]
The face plate remove and I give chicks tattoos

[MC Paul Barman:]
But then they can see your face!

[MF DOOM:]
I make 'em look the other way
I almost caught a case off that same shit the other day
In Grady's truck is where I first got lucky
In the 80's, now I make the ladies say 'Yucky!' like Sandy

[MC Paul Barman:]
Bollocks, that old mustache is bull-snot

[MF DOOM:]
On your bald spot

[MC Paul Barman:]
THAT WAS WHAT I CALL HOT!