"Happy" lyrics - NF

Dear God, please
Hear me out, I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached
Out and said hello, I bet You're wondering
Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressin' all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories
I know I've been selfish, I have
No excuse to give You, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

[Chorus:]
Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like somethin's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet
I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls I been avoidin'
Some family members I don't really connect with
Some things I said I wish I woulda not let slip
Some hurtful words that never shoulda left my lips
Some bridges burned I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losin' hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

[Chorus:]
Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy

[Bridge:]
Don't know what's around the bend
Don't know what my future is
But I can't keep on livin' in-

[Chorus:]
Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy

[Outro:]
(Oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh, oh) If I was happy
(Oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh, oh) If I was happy