"Is This Thing Working?" lyrics - TODD SNIDER

[Refrain:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

In the hallway of a high school
Anywhere, USA
There was a bully that would pick on a different kid
And it seemed like every day
He had this pack of back slapping buddies
That would laugh and back him up all the way
And this screaming girlfriend who would make believe in
Everything he'd say

[Refrain:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Because then one day this kid
That he'd beat up a couple time before
Realized, to even his own surprise
That he probably could indeed take more
And with that he hatched an evil plan
To make that devil pay
He walked up to him, in the middle of the gym
And he found the nerve to say
"You gonna hit somebody, today?
"You're gonna hit me too
"In fact, you're gonna hit me every day
"Because now I'm picking on you
"And as crazy as it all might sound right now
"I'm not stopping until I'm through
"It's too late to beg for mercy"

[Refrain:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Because that bully he just laughed and laughed, of course
And so did all of his friends
And he beat that poor kid unmercifully
For days and days on end
Only slightly less impressively each time, to that pretty girl
And all of his friends
Who would eventually, secretly
Start hoping for that kid to win

[Refrain:]
So is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

You know, you'll never hear him say this now
Because he thinks we still don't know
But winning this battle every day
Cost our bully the war a long time ago
And of all the scars he's got to show
For every blow that kid sneaks in
The worst one is probably knowing that tomorrow
He's going to have to get up and fight that kid again

[Refrain:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?